主题：Homer Simpson 名言 -- Dracula

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try. （Burns' Heir，5X18）

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. （Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie，4X06）

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail. （How I Spent My Strummer Vacation，14X02）

To Alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems. （Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment, 8X18）

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. （One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish，2X11）

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. （Treehouse of Horror V，6X06）

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. （Lisa's Substitute，2X19）

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? （Secrets of a Successful Marriage，5X22）

Oh my god, space aliens. Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! （Treehouse of Horror VII，8X01）

Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! （Dead Putting Society，2X06）

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder. （Homer the Heretic，4X03）

Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory. （Bart Gets an Elephant，5X17）

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on. （A Milhouse Divided，8X06）

Trying is the first step towards failure. （Realty Bites，9X09）

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! （There's No Disgrace Like Home，1X04）

Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. ''Dear Edna, Welcome to Dumpsville, Population: You. PS I am gay.'' （Bart the Lover, 3X16）

Marge, the reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think! （Bart's Comet，6X14）

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you. （Homer at the Bat，3X17）

Son，if you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers. （Kamp Krusty，4X01）

Donuts...is there anything they CAN'T do? （Marge vs. the Monorail，4X12）

Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy bidding will be done (munch munch munch). （And Maggie Makes Three，6X13）

Ah, It doesn't mean anything. It's like "Rama Lama Ding-Dong" or "Give Peace a Chance." （It 指那首歌Yvan eht Nioj） （New Kids on the Blecch，14X02）

Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all. （Eight Misbehavin'，11X07）

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? （Treehouse of Horror IV，5X05）

Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. （The PTA Disbands，06X21）