主题：周末瞎侃宗教 -- 陈王奋起

A Short Guide to Comparative Religions

道教： Shit happens.

孔教： Confucius say, "Shit happens."

佛教： If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

禅宗： What is the sound of shit happening?

印度教： This shit happened before.

摩门教： This shit is going to happen again.

母屎林教： If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.

思多葛主义： This shit is its own reward.

新教： Let this shit happen to someone else.

加尔文教派：Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

五旬宗： In Jesus' name, heal this shit!

天主教： Shit happens because you deserve it.

犹太教： Why does this shit always happen to us?

明教： Shit happens half the time.

马列主义： This shit is going to hit the fan.

无神论： No shit.

七日圣殿教： No shit on Saturdays.

存在主义： Absurd shit.

不可知论： What is this shit?

虚无主义： Who gives a shit?

解构（主义？）： Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.

基督教科学派： Shit is in your mind.

文鲜明个人崇拜教： Only happy shit really happens.

耶和华的见证人： Knock, Knock, shit happens.

Scientology（这玩意中文叫啥？）： Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard

奎师那教： Shit happens, Rama Rama.

享乐主义： There's nothing like a good shit happening.

牙买加黑人版基督教： Yaah Maan! Let's smoke this shit.