主题：你有大国战疫，我有方方日记 -- 秃鹫之翼

-Apparently, the White House thinks that the Foreign Office is full of pinkos and traitors.

-No, it's not. Well...not full.

-白宫认为外交部都是些左倾份子和卖国贼。

-不是的。呃……不全是。

-East Yemen...isn't that a democracy?

-Its full name is People's Democratic Republic of East Yemen.

-Oh, I see. It's a communist dictatorship.

-东也门不是民主政权吗？

-它全称是“东也门人民民主共和国”

-哦，知道了。左翼独裁政权。

-You know what happens when politicians get into Number 10. They want their place on the world stage.

-People on stages are called actors. All they're required to do is look plausible, stay sober and say the lines they're given in the right order.

-Some of them try to make up their own lines.

-They don't last long.

-你知道政客们进入10号后会怎样。他们想在世界舞台上占个位置。

-站在舞台上的那叫演员。他们只需作稳定状，保持清醒，按部就班念台词。

-一些人试图自己想词。

-立马就下台了。

-We should always fight for the weak against the strong.

-Well, why don't we send troops to Afghanistan to fight the Russians?

-The Russians are too strong.

-我们应该锄强扶弱。

-那为什么不派军队去阿富汗对抗俄国？

-俄国强过头了。

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving to the Friday afternoon!

外交旨在存活到下世纪。政治旨在存活到星期五下午！

The standard Foreign Office response in a time of crisis:

Stage one, we say nothing is going to happen.

Stage two, we say it maybe going to happen, but we should do nothing about it.

Stage three, we say that maybe we should do something about it, but there's nothing we can do.

Stage four, we say maybe there was something we could have done, but it's too late now.

外交部标准危机应对策略：

第一阶段 － 宣称什么事都没有

第二阶段 － 说也许有事发生，但我们不应该采取行动

第三阶段 － 说也许我们应该采取行动，但什么都做不了

第四阶段 － 说也许我们当初能做点什么，但现在已太迟了