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主题:【原创】一个老实男生的故事 -- 故园湾里

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    • 家园 故园mm父母很幸福

      生活在这样的父母身边,是幸运的。

      我妈妈曾经这么说我爸,你和你爸爸一样,心地太善良,太单纯,可惜现在的社会和过去不一样了,恐怕会吃亏的。

      还好我也没吃什么亏。

      • 家园 善良和单纯也是好事情吧

        关键还是心态吧。

        之前看过一篇文章叫“爱情博弈论”,里面提到了“多次博弈”的概念。

        两个囚徒分别被审问,相互不能串供。如果两个人都承认,则各被扣留8年;如果一人承认另一人不承认,承认者放走,并且得到奖赏,不承认的被扣留10年,并且被罚款;如果两人都不承认则因证据不足各被扣留1年。

        对于这个情况,最理想的状况就是两个人都不承认,这样就都蹲一年就好了。类似的,就是在生活中,大家都选择真诚善良,这样大家都能得到比较好的收益。但是问题是,假定A选择承认的话,B最好是选择承认,否则就要被严重处罚;假定A选择否认的话,B最好还是选择承认,因为这样不仅被放走,还可以得到奖金。就是说,不管A什么态度,B的最佳选择都是承认。反过来,不管B什么态度,A的最佳选择也是承认。结果,两个人都会选择承认。

        这样看来,世界就太黑暗了,大家都要避免损失,所以都要虚伪……

        但是,事情也不是那么惨淡的,后来美国密歇根大学的罗伯特.爱克斯罗德(Robert Axelrod)进行了一场计算机竞赛的试验,让大家重复的,多次的进行这样的游戏:每人扮演“囚徒困境”案例中一个囚犯的角色,他们开始玩“囚徒困境”的游戏,每个人都要在合作与背叛之间做出选择。关键问题在于,他们不只玩一遍这个游戏,而是一遍一遍地玩上200次,这就是所谓的“重复的囚徒困境”,于是这就更逼真地反映了日常人际关系。最后算谁的总分高。

        结论很有意思,是说大家都要善意一点,乐观一点,但是又要以牙还牙以眼还眼,这样从长期来看是最好的测量。

        所以采薇mm的策略还是不错的哟,呵呵

        通宝推:大溪水,
        • 家园 大家都要避免损失,所以都要虚伪…

          That works in general case. However, honest won't go wrong in a long run. Several years ago, in my previous group, my boss kicked one postdoc off, a Turkey lady. The fight between this lady and my boss was very fierce. The lady charged the boss to the department chairman, and Dean of the Institue. Finally she even sued the boss in the local court.

          So, when that lady was looking for a job, none of other group members, Yankees, Indians, were willing to, or dare, write any recommendation letters for her. Their excuses were pretty funny: they didn't know each other very well in terms of scientific expertise - they used to talk together so much in the last half year, and hugged so well in parties. Moreover, the reference letter is simply for a postdoctoral position, not for applying a faculty position. At that time, I was the only guy who dare write a recommendation with high risk, though the letter objectively reflected her talent as well as personality while no mention why she left the group. Luckily, her future boss, a guy in South Africa accepted her. Actually, this lady is really talented as well as motivated. Later, she was nominated as National Women in Science Award of South Africa in 2005.

          The funny thing is later, after two years, in one Gordon research conference, it happened that South Afrian guy also attended this conference, and shared a room with my boss. It seemed these two belonged to the same type of person, and they became friends very soon. They had an overnight talk in the first day. Certainly this Turkey lady became their topic for her uneven performance. Also no doubt, the South African guy told my boss about the recommendation letter sent to him by me.

          In the breakfast time of the next day, I met my boss in the Buffet dining Hall. My boss took his breakfast, seated himself beside me at the same table, and started the dining conversation. He said he didn't sleep at all last night, because he met Oz's (Turkey lady name) African boss, and they had an over-night talk. They chatted a lot about issues like how to run a group, and how difficult to hire a right employee. Suddenly, he stared at me, and asked me, "Did you write a recommendation letter for Oz?" I froze for a couple of seconds, and responded his staring with another one. " Don't panic". Then I answered, "Yes. I simply want to give her a chance." "Take it easy. Dont' feel this is burden." Boss tried to make me at ease. "I won't punish you."

          What happened was later, he put me on the category that people are extremely objective and honest, and let me check his work frequently. Also, my impression about boss changed a lot: he is mean but he is objective also.

        • 家园 第二个实验很有意思

          以前看过关于第二个实验的贴子,真伪不知道。据说结果是:最好的策略是仅根据对方上一次采取的行为进行决策,决策依据就是简单地以德报德、以直报怨。

          不过真正的人际环境中各种倾向的比例不太好确定。另外,人是可以学习的。如果考虑这两种因素,这个程序需要对多种社会环境进行模拟。

          挺有意思。

          • 家园 就是所谓的 TFT 策略.

            TFT(Tit for Tat) 针锋相对.

          • 家园 这个实验是真的

            具体内容是发表在学术刊物上面了的

            呵呵,碰到有“考据癖”的我,总是要找到出处才甘心呀

            1. "Effective Choice in the Prisoner's Dilemma", Robert Axelrod, The Journal of Conflict Resolution, Vol. 24, No.1 (Mar., 1980), 3-25.

            2. "More Effective Choice in the Prisoner's Dilemma", Robert Axelrod, The Journal of Conflict Resolution, Vol. 24, No. 3(Sep., 1980), 279-403.

      • 家园 DEL
      • 家园 吃亏是有福的

        恭喜:你意外获得【通宝】一枚

        鲜花已经成功送出。

        此次送花为【有效送花赞扬,涨乐善、声望】

        ——比如这个……。

        也许我只能算是成长在这样的父母身边了,离开他们到上海来读书工作也已经快10年了……泪奔~~~

        • 家园 小时候家里父母的影响,那种印子抹不掉的

          恭喜:你意外获得【通宝】一枚

          鲜花已经成功送出。

          此次送花为【有效送花赞扬,涨乐善、声望】

    • 家园 这也行??我要穿越~~

    • 家园 那些追求过你妈的另三分之一也够神速的。

      都跟你父母约好了,差不多时间结婚生子。也是件不容易的事。

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