西西河

主题:关于《劈波蹈海》翻译进程遭到干扰的说明以及向各位河友求助 -- 万年看客

共:💬55 🌺381 新:
全看分页树展 · 主题 跟帖
家园 《分水岭》第八章勘误

P338:Patterson's suit differed from the one filed earlier by Police Commissioner Sullivan of Montgomery in that he named King himself as a defendant, even though King's name did not appear as a sponsor of the advertisement.

误:帕特森的案子不同于早些时候由蒙哥马利治安专员沙利文提起的诉讼,在那个案子里,尽管金并不是广告发起人,但沙利文还是把金本人列为被告。

正:与早些时候由蒙哥马利治安专员苏利文提起的诉讼相比,帕特森案件的不同之处在于他把金本人也列为了被告,尽管金并不是广告发起人。

分析:这一章的误译者最常犯的错误就是找不准主语,以下的误译大都是这个错误。

P338:Aside from hurting King personally and threatening the extinction of his organization, the vendetta compounded the difficulties of his political objectives in the presidential election.

误:除了亲自上阵伤害金、威胁其组织的覆灭,长期的争斗也加剧了帕特森在总统选举中实现政治目标的困难。

正:帕特森不仅亲自上阵伤害金并且威胁要剿灭他的组织,而且他的复仇还加剧了金在政界遭遇到的困难。

P339:Ted Sorensen, Senator Kennedy's closest aide, advised Wofford at their first meeting not to become too closely associated with Shriver, because the insiders thought of him as the "house Communist.'

误:泰德·素伦森是肯尼迪参议员最亲密的助手,他建议沃福德在第一次会面时,不要发展和施菜弗过于密切的联系,因为他们的内部圈子视施莱弗为“共产党议员”。

正:肯尼迪参议员最亲密的助手泰德.索伦森(Ted Sorensen)第一次见到沃福德时就建议他不要与施莱弗发展过于密切的联系,因为圈内人都认为施莱弗是肯尼迪家族的“家养共产党”。

P340:Robinson told reporters that he was "not nearly as critical as I have been,'

误:罗宾逊告诉记者,他“几乎和过去一样不重要”,

正:投桃报李的罗宾森则告诉记者,他看待肯尼迪的态度“远远不如过去那样挑剔了”。

P341:If Powell did carry out his threat, however, it would matter very little that his charge was untrue.

误:如果鲍威尔真的把威胁兑现,由于指控内容并非真有其事,这件事本身微不足道。

正:如果鲍威尔真的兑现了他的威胁,那么指控内容的真伪如何根本无关紧要。

P341:Powell faced others, including imminent libel action by a Harlem woman he had denounced on television as a "bag woman' for corrupt police.

误:他还面对其他的审判,包括即将开庭的、由一个哈莱姆女人提起的诽谤诉讼,事关他在电视上抨击警察腐败时,把这个女人称为“购物袋女人”。

正:此外他还面对着其他审判,其中有一起由哈莱姆区某女性提起的诽谤诉讼即将开庭,起诉的由头是他曾在电视上将这名女人称为腐败警察的“贿款代收人”。

P341:Moreover, Rustin knew that his personal liabilities were once again burdening not only King but possibly the cause itself. This was not a pleasant thought for him. King received the message with a stoic acknowledgment that bordered on approval.

误:此外,拉斯廷知道,他的个人性倾向不仅再次给金带来了负担,也可能给同性恋事业本身惹出麻烦。对他来说,这不是一个令入愉快的想法。金收到拉斯廷一个消息,那是一个近乎同意公开表明性取向的信息。

正:此外拉斯廷也知道,他的个人性取向不仅再次给金拖了后腿,还可能给民权事业本身惹出麻烦。这个想法令他很不好受。金相当坚忍地接收了拉斯廷的消息,几乎就表示了同意。

P342:Kennedy was picking up delegates by the handful and was said to have nearly enough to win,

误:肯尼迪拾获了少量代表的支持,据说几乎已经足够赢得选战了

正:肯尼迪正在一个人接着一个人地争取各位党代表的支持,据说他的支持者人数几乎已经足够赢得初选了

P343:Each of the presidential candidates was invited to appear in person, or to send a message to the group.

误:每个总统候选人接到了邀请,他们或是亲自到会,或是发来信息。

正:各位总统候选人全都接到了亲自到会或者发来信息的邀请。

P343:The three student sit-in leaders who had been selected at the Raleigh conference back in April

误:去年4月的罗莱会议上选出了3名静坐学生领导人代表,

正:在4月份举行的雷利会议上当选的三名静坐运动学生领袖

P343:King also testified, then disappeared in the company of Clarence Jones and Michael Harrington,

误:金也做了证明,但随后便消失在克拉伦斯·琼斯和迈克尔·哈林顿的公司里。

正:金也上前作证,随后就被克拉伦斯.琼斯(Clarence Jones)与迈克尔.哈林顿(Michael Harrington)拉跑了。

P344:The motley line, numbering anywhere from a few dozen up to a few hundred at a time,

误:纠察队的组成团体五花八门,分别用几十到几百不等的数字编号,

正:纠察队的人员组成五花八门,少的时候也有几十个人,多的时候更是达到了几百个,

P344:...where Harrington found himself in long soulful dialogues on Hegel and Max Weber.

误:在那里,哈林顿发现自己和黑格尔、马克斯·韦伯进行了长时间的深情对话。

正:哈林顿与金热切讨论了黑格尔与马克斯.韦伯的思想。

分析:误译不觉得瘆得慌吗?

P345:At the Biltmore Hotel, Robert Kennedy stood on a chair to give one of his many briefings to his campaign workers.

误:在比特穆尔酒店,罗伯特.肯尼迪站在凳子上,把众多简报中的一份递给爱竞选工作人员。

正:在比特穆尔酒店,罗伯特.肯尼迪站在椅子上向竞选工作人员进行了众多选情简报当中的一场。

P345:Early the next day, Senator Kennedy decided to pay a surprise call on Lyndon Johnson to offer the nomination, which was not expected, so that he could take credit for having done so when Johnson refused. Kennedy did not quite offer the job; he merely took the idea a few inches outside his pocket and flashed it in front of Johnson, as he put it.

误:第二天一大早,参议员肯尼迪决定给林登·约翰逊一个惊喜,他带着给约翰逊的副总统提名信登门拜访。这个提名纯属意外,就算约翰逊拒绝,他也能在这件事上获益。肯尼迪没有直接行动,他只是把那份提名信放在外衣口袋里,但特意露出几英寸,并且放下衣服时让它在约翰逊面前闪了一下。

正:第二天一大早,肯尼迪参议员决定给林登.约翰逊来个意外袭击,打电话问问他是否愿意接受提名。事先谁也没想到肯尼迪打算玩这一手,因此就算约翰逊拒绝,肯尼迪也能因为主动做出姿态而受到好评。肯尼迪并没有直接了当地询问约翰逊是否有意与自己合作。用日后他自己的话来说,他只不过将提名建议藏在上衣口袋里特意露出几英寸,并且在约翰逊面前闪了一下而已。

分析:误译太老实了,看不出比喻。

P345:Robert Kennedy arrived on a diplomatic mission of the utmost delicacy, suggesting to Johnson that he might want to remove himself because of the ferocious opposition in the North.

误:罗伯特·肯尼迪带着极为微妙的外交使命赶来,他暗示约翰逊,由于北方的激烈反对,肯尼迪可能会将约翰逊从提名名单中删除。

正:这时罗伯特.肯尼迪带着极为微妙的外交使命登门拜访了约翰逊。他暗示道,由于北方党代表的激烈反对,他希望约翰逊主动将自己的名字从提名名单当中撤下来。

P347:Alabama prosecutors were dropping a second perjury charge against him.

误:亚拉巴马州的原告撤销了他的伪证罪第二被告的指控。

正:阿拉巴马州的检察官们撤销了针对他的第二次伪证罪起诉。

P348:"Nixon Says Rights Plank Must Be Made Stronger,' announced the lead headline in The New York Times, above a story quoting Nixon in favor of the sit-ins and against "balancing' his ticket with a Southerner.

误:《纽约时报》率先在头版头条上宣布:“尼克松说人权纲领必须强化。”这句援引自尼克松的话为静坐运动的人们所青睐,却让南方人对他的投票“踌躇不定”

正:《纽约时报》率先在头版头条上宣布:“尼克松表示人权纲领必须强化。”接下来的新闻宣称尼克松偏向静坐运动,并且不愿为了争取南方选票而采取“平衡的”竞选纲领。

P348:How could he run as a fiscally sound Republican……

误:他怎能运行一个经济良好的共和党政府?

正:他怎能一方面身为奉行稳健财政政策的共和党人参加竞选……

P349:He also felt obliged to straddle the gap between Eisenhower's pride and Kennedy's charges that "American prestige is at an all-time low,'

误:鉴于艾森豪威尔的自尊和肯尼迪的指控,他觉得有必要消除两者之间的隔阂,因为“美国的声望正处于历史低点”

正:此外他也觉得有必要同时照顾到艾森豪威尔的自尊与肯尼迪的“美国声望正处于历史低点”指控。

P349:Lodge was too liberal on civil rights and too genteel to be an effective campaigner, thought the President, who had lobbied for a rich Texan and for a general on the grounds that they had proven they could manage people and dollars in the millions.

误:他认为洛奇在民权问题上过于自由,在竞选活动中过于文绉绉而缺乏效率。总统要的是一个富饶的得克萨斯州,他需要这对竞选搭档给出一个普遍能接受的理由,那就是,他们能够证明自己能管理好数以百万计的人员和资金。

正:因为他觉得洛奇在民权问题上过于偏向自由派,个人作风又过于文质彬彬,因此很可能并不是一位足够高效的竞选人。总统曾经向尼克松推荐过一位得克萨斯州富翁与一位将军担任竞选搭档,因为他觉得这两人更有能力管理好庞大的竞选团队与数以百万计的竞选资金。

P351:Privately, some of the leaders of the Atlanta student movement went to King with a worry that was emblematic of the times. They feared that one of their supporters might be a Communist.

误:私下里,一些亚特兰大学生运动的领袖对金有一种时代特征的担心。他们担心,他们的支持者之一可能是个共产党员。

正:有些亚特兰大学生运动领袖私下里找到了金,向他表达了一项很有时代特征的担心:他们担心学生运动的支持者之一可能是个共产党员。

P352:Though frail, bespectacled, and soft-spoken to the point of whispering, Moses carried about him the strong presence of an Eastern mystic

误:虽然身体虚弱,戴着眼镜,轻声细语几近耳语,但就是在这样的金身上,摩西却发现了东方神秘主义的强大存在。

正:虽然摩西身体虚弱,戴着眼镜,说起话来轻声细气几近耳语,但他身上却散发着东方神秘主义的强大气场。

P356:the brief meeting closed on an artificial note of agreement.

误:简短的碰头会结束于一份手工拟定的协议书。

正:于是这次简短的碰头会就在刻意营造的和谐气氛当中结束了。

P356:Against these cold facts, King felt loyalties of principle and personal feeling for Rustin, which were only made worse by his awareness that Rustin, nearing fifty years of age, was counting on King for a regular job.

误:面对这些冰冷的事实,金既感觉到对原则的忠诚,又感觉到自己对拉斯廷的个人感情,但当他意识到年近50岁的拉斯廷希望他能提供一份安稳的工作时,所有的这些感觉都被大打折扣。

正:面对这些冰冷的事实,金一方面感到自己必须忠于原则,另一方面又觉得自己不能对不住拉斯廷。尤其是当他意识到拉斯廷已经年近五旬,指望在他手下谋求一份安稳工作的时候,他心里就更难受了。

P356:He resigned from the Committee to Defend Martin Luther King.

误:他在委员会辞职以保护马丁·路德·金

正:他随即辞去了自己在马丁.路德.金辩护委员会里的工作

P358:the support of his cause had been one of the prime reasons for the founding of In Friendship that same year, by Rustin, Ella Baker, and Stanley Levison

误:支持他事业的最主要的原因一直是友谊关系的建立,也就是在那一年,他和拉斯廷、艾拉,贝克和斯坦利,利维森成了朋友

正:事实上拉斯廷、艾拉.贝克以及斯坦利.利维森之所以在这一年成立友情会,主要原因就是为了给穆尔撑腰。

P358:but then I should have known from Miss Baker

误:不过以后,我应该通过贝克小姐进一步认识他。

正:不过我早就应该通过贝克小姐认识他了。

P359:He was there when Harold Tyler, chief of the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, tracked him down by telephone.

误:司法部民权司主任哈罗德·泰勒一直通过电话来跟踪他的工作过程。

正:当他赶到加州之后,司法部民权司主任哈罗德.泰勒(Harold Tyler)通过电话找到了他。

P359:It was a sign of the times that not a single politically connected Republican, nor any friend of Tyler's, expressed interest in the high-ranking position of first assistant in the Civil Rights Division.

误:这是一个时代的现象,不管是和共和党的单纯政治合作,还是泰勒的任何朋友,都对民权司第一助理这个高位不感兴趣。

正:有一个现象很能说明当时的时代特质:任何一名政坛人脉广泛的共和党员以及泰勒的所有朋友都对民权司第一助理这个高位不感兴趣。

P360:Only then, hypothetically, would the government come to the task of enforcing such court orders, and here the famed "jury trial' amendment of the 1957 act would work to the advantage of defendants who refused to obey them.

误:也只有这样,假设,回到著名的1957年“陪审团”修正案,它将使政府被强制执行法院命令,并将能够对拒绝执行命令的被告发挥作用。

正:在设想当中,只有打赢这三场官司之后,政府才能放开手脚强制执行法院命令,而《1957年民权法案》当中著名的“陪审团裁决”修正案却对拒绝执行命令的被告很有利。

P360:To Rogers, the test-case strategy was vulnerable to political attack as a "do nothing' policy on civil rights enforcement.

误:对罗杰斯而言,判例案件作为民权执法上的一个“无为”策略,很容易受到政治攻击。

正:对罗杰斯来说判例案件策略很容易受到政治攻击,因为攻击者尽管可以声称这种策略等同于民权落实方面的“无所作为”。

P361:This worked splendidly for the agents' usual work of tracking car thieves, bank robbers, Communists, and other outcasts, but the image made it wrenchingly difficult for the agents to take the side of the outcasts themselves.

误:这对于特工们跟踪偷车贼、银行劫匪和其他流浪汉这些平常的工作大有裨益,但扭曲的形象很难让特工们接受自己真实的另一面。

正:鉴于探员们的日常工作包括追捕偷车贼、银行劫匪、美共残党以及其他社会边缘人,这套作风的效果非常优秀。但是假如探员们不得不在调查当中加入社会边缘人的行列,那么这套作风就只能帮倒忙了。

P363:This presidential election, not the contest between Kennedy and Nixon, absorbed King's partisan energies in 1960

误:这次的总裁之争,不是肯尼迪与尼克松的竞争,而是金在1960年时合并党派力量的对决。

正:金在1960年的政治斗争精力几乎全都倾注在了大会主席之争上面,根本没有多余的心思再去掺和肯尼迪与尼克松之间的角逐。

P364:Finally, shifts in Convention politics

误:后来,她对大会的政治见解发生了转变

正:最终大会的政治立场发生了转变

P369:They downplayed the issue in the first of the four historic Kennedy-Nixon television debates on September 26.

误:他们低估了9月26日肯尼迪一尼克松历史性4轮电视辩论中第一场的问题。

正:在9月26日的第一场辩论当中,尼克松与肯尼迪不约而同地抑制住了讨论种族问题的音量。

P369:On the Kennedy campaign staff, the civil rights people kept a profile in keeping with their issue--low and tucked away.

误:民权人士对肯尼迪竞选工作人员的问题进行了低调和隐藏式处理。

正:为了确保民权议题在总统竞选当中不至于完全出局,在肯尼迪竞选团队当中工作的民权人士采取了低调隐蔽的行事风格。

P369:The Negro campaign workers might as well have been off in a minstrel show.

误:黑人竞选工作人员也已经在巡回演说中离开了。

正:就算找几个脸上涂满墨汁的白人演员硬充黑人来装点门面,对于这哥俩来说也没有区别。

全看分页树展 · 主题 跟帖


有趣有益,互惠互利;开阔视野,博采众长。
虚拟的网络,真实的人。天南地北客,相逢皆朋友

Copyright © cchere 西西河