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主题：从《中国话》说起 -- 今生不再
昨天看了个新闻，小绿人为SHE的新歌大动肝火，本来这三个小妮子跳跳蹦蹦唱点歌曲，偶尔听听也挺热闹的，居然搞到小绿人要抵制，什么歌曲呢？一首《中国话》，我这人好奇，找来听听，居然不少绕口令在里面，估计河友们小时候可能还背过，尤其是那首板凳宽扁担长，实在太熟悉了，回想这些年，刚刚改革开放的时候，由于经常和港台人打交道，有阵子粤语比较火，街头时不时就冒出句捂该，撒撒水，而台湾连续剧红的时候，不少孩子都学的台湾人那样嗲声嗲气，当然，E文一直是国际化的重要组成，直到今天还必须考级，可以直接影响到拿学位和考公务员，张口闭口夹杂E文的也挺多，可是有个变化正在悄悄的发生，普通话的地位正在稳步上升，在强大国力支撑下，中国人也越来越自信，过去那些盲目模仿外语或者某种地方方言，逐渐看不到了，取而代之的是越来越多的老外或者港澳居民在努力学习普通话，因为需要和说普通话的中国人打越来越多的交道，这是现实的需求，可能不少兄弟考E文或者其他外语的时候还咒过，什么时候让老外考中文，让他们受自己受过的罪，如今这一幕的确在上演，而且人数剧增，今年有数千老外参加了中国人的汉语托福，这么下去，迟早要走出国门，把考场搬出去，毕竟中国人涉及的领域越来越多，中国越融入世界，不仅自身需要更多的学习外语，而老外也将有更多的人自愿或者被迫学习中国话，这不是某个个人或者集体意志所能更改的趋势，记得都德在最后一课里借对祖国语言的热爱所表达的爱国之情，法国人觉得自己的语言是世界上最美的，作为中国人，当然为我是中国人自豪，也为我说的中国话骄傲。
顺口说句小绿人，虽然竭力去中国化，但是骨子里的中国烙印是怎样也无法抹去的，虽然流行歌曲也许有大陆市场的考虑在内，但是歌曲里表达的作为中国人而感到自豪的情绪是让他们感到恐惧和无法接受的，前面王力宏翻唱老侯的《龙的传人》，也许毕竟他有海龟背景，新出的《戏出东方》同样表达了作为中国人的自豪，但是没看他们这么大反应，而本乡本土的SHE这么唱就非常敏感，不过上千年的中国结，真的能抹去？话说回来，有更多的台湾人有那种身为中国人的自豪感，那么，统一大业也许真能和平解决？
歌手：s.h.e 专辑：play
曲:郑楠词:郑楠 施人诚
扁担宽板凳长
扁担想绑在板凳上
扁担宽板凳长
扁担想绑在板凳上
伦敦玛莉莲买了件旗袍送妈妈
莫斯科的夫司基爱上牛肉面疙瘩
各种颜色的皮肤各种颜色的头发
嘴里念的说的开始流行中国话
多少年我们苦练英文发音和文法
这几年换他们卷著舌头学平上去入的变化
平平仄仄平平仄(仄仄平平仄仄平)
好聪明的中国人好优美的中国话
扁担宽板凳长
扁担想绑在板凳上
板凳不让扁担绑在板凳上
扁担偏要绑在板凳上
板凳偏偏不让扁担绑在那板凳上
到底扁担宽还是板凳长
哥哥弟弟坡前坐
坡上卧著一只鹅
坡下流著一条河
哥哥说宽宽的河
弟弟说白白的鹅
鹅要过河河要渡鹅
不知是那鹅过河
还是河渡鹅
全世界都在学中国话
孔夫子的话越来越国际化
全世界都在讲中国话
我们说的话让世界都认真听话
纽约苏珊娜开了间禅风lounge bar
柏林来的沃夫冈拿胡琴配著电吉他
各种颜色的皮肤各种颜色的头发
嘴里念的说的开始流行中国话
多少年我们苦练英文发音和文法
这几年换他们卷著舌头学平上去入的变化
平平仄仄平平仄(仄仄平平仄仄平)
好聪明的中国人好优美的中国话
有个小孩叫信
上街打醋又买布
买了布打了醋
回头看见鹰抓兔
放下布搁下醋
上前去追鹰和兔
飞了鹰跑了兔
洒了醋湿了布
嘴说腿腿说嘴
嘴说腿爱跑腿
腿说嘴爱卖嘴
光动嘴不动腿
光动腿不动嘴
不如不长腿和嘴
到底是那嘴说腿还是腿说嘴
全世界都在学中国话
孔夫子的话越来越国际化
全世界都在讲中国话
我们说的话让世界都认真听话
全世界都在学中国话
孔夫子的话越来越国际化
全世界都在讲中国话
我们说的话让世界都认真听话
这下SHE的绿帽子是摘了。不过台湾人也说国语吧？难道国语不是中国话，最多罗嗦些是中华民国国家官方语言啊。
叶上总是小水珠向大水珠靠,最后变为一体.国家强了,要来还要有限制...花!
Yeah, you know who this is, Jin
Let me tell you this
The days of the pork fried rice and the chicken wings
coming to your house five years is over
[Chorus]
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
Ya'll gonna wanna be Chinese
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps go off, ya'll gon' speak Chinese
[Jin]
Go fuck with your head man
I know a bunch of crypts that love Redman
Blood book in New York man things done change
Stop, the chinks be all over the game
This ain't Bruce Lee, I watch too much TV
This is a game of death when I aim for your chest
Too much sex got me seeing slow motion
Eyes barely open with a roach roasting'
And your girl, she loves the gin ocean
Rub it on her body like body shop lotion
What's the commotion, you never seen me?
The original chinky eye emcee
You don't want to step to the army
And Double-R rank refugee
And the battle of the gun is gonna make you speak
another language
And amigo I ain't talking about Spanish
[Chorus]
[Jin]
This one goes out to those that order four chicken wings
And pork fried rice and throw dice
In the hood, you think this is all good?
Till the cowboys roam through like Clint Eastwood
I wish you would come to Chinatown
Get lost in town, end up in the lost in found
Eyewitnesses, you must be crazy
We don't speak English, we speak Chinese
And the only po-po we know is the pigs on the hood out in the
window
Every time they harass me, I wanna explode
We should ride the train for free, we built the railroads
I ain't ya 50 Cent, I ain't ya Enimem
I ain't ya Jigga Man, I'm a chinaman
Ginseng in the palm of my hand
She looks suprirsed in the palm of my hands
You know what's next? Safe sex
I'll be damned if I sleep in the flesh with the insect
[Hook]
(Woman singing)
(Jin speaking Chinese: This one sounds good.
Let's give her a call on the phone.)
Mr. Jin, you are the sexist man
Mr. Jin, I love the way you do your things
(Jin speaking Chinese: Really?)
Mr. Jin, you are the sexist man
Mr. Jin, I love the way you do your things
[Jin]
The moral of the story is
Don't judge a book by its cover
I know you think he's fam, but he's really undercover
I saw his name on the affidavit
It was written in Chinese and this is what he said:
(Jin Speaking Chinese: The chinese restaurant is closing soon)
Bring about some local hooligans and thugs so
Catch them at midnight when they close the shop up
Reading the Ten Commandments, cooking up heckka
Movie small posters are all over the walls
If they think you'd save me the bullet, it's so over ya'll
Me, I'm just Jin just doing my thang
Just doing my thang, just doing my thang
Why is there beef everywhere I go?
I'm drunk skewing, can't we all get along
My ladies with the thongs, my thugs with the firearms
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Wyclef: all the ghetto)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Wyclef: all the suburb)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese.
(Wyclef: Refugees)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Jin speaking Chinese: di lo)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese (Jin speaking Chinese: Hurry,
get out of here)
Ya'll gonna learn Chinese
When the pumps come out, ya'll gon' speak Chinese
(Woman singing)
[Hook]
[Wyclef]
The game will never be the same (Jin speaking Chinese:
I already played the game)
Double-R refugees (Jin speaking Chinese: Let's go home)
First Chinese rapper
First page rapper
Refugees
(Jin speaking Chinese: Chinatown)
(Jin speaking Chinese: I already played the game)
(Jin speaking Chinese: That's it)
里面的武僧真是个个精神啊。试着说了一下绕口令，不行了，嘴笨的要死。呵呵。
扁担想绑在板凳上
板凳不让扁担绑在板凳上
扁担偏要绑在板凳上
板凳偏偏不让扁担绑在那板凳上
到底扁担宽还是板凳长
“扁担”——阿扁？
“板凳长”——谢长廷？
“扁担想绑在板凳上”——什么意思？讽刺阿扁暗助谢长廷？还是西瓜偎大边？
“板凳不让扁担绑在板凳上”——挑拨离间扁谢二人深厚的友谊？分裂民进党？可恶！
“扁担偏要绑在板凳上
板凳偏偏不让扁担绑在那板凳上
到底扁担宽还是板凳长”
——中共的同路人，用心多么险恶啊。
老哥您还真是深得名词联想学的精髓啊。
"扁担?扁担?"含沙射影其心可诛啊
真的。 发自内心的说