主题：【文摘】西班牙大猩猩与女王的天体秀--美国娃笔下的世界史 -- 李根

The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies.（头一句就牛到家了！原来底比斯是死人城……） They lived in the Sarah Dessert（Sahara Desert, 这个么，玩笑了） and traveled by Camelot（camel？原来宫殿也会从英国游泳到非洲的）. The climate of the Sarah issuch that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere（木乃伊也怕热的？？）, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation（突然想起了“愤怒的葡萄”，或许可以这么解释）. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain（这又牛到家了，金字塔不愧是木乃伊居民的杰作，他们个个会移山法）.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures.（世界上最早的漫画书？） In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses（Genesis没那么难写吧？）, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.（那以后还要吃苹果？同类相残啊……） One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" （这算什么辈分？这样算来该隐可就又多个“弑父”的罪名了）God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac（Isaac，还牛顿呢） on Mount Montezuma.（Mount Moriah,蒙特苏马山？？对美洲历史挺熟悉么） Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark.（birthright，权利可以偷，胎记也偷得的？） Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it.（participant？） One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.（没稻草还是能做面包的，供应小麦和木柴就行了） Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.（是面包么？空气吧……） Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide（Mount Sinai，氰化物山！！上帝啊……） to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.（玩弄说谎者？） He fougth（fought） with the Philatelists,

（Philistines，和集邮家作战……希望今天以色列人别有这个传统了） a race of people who lived

in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines

（progenitures？养500豪猪干什么？驱使它们打仗？耶，以后也画个“所罗门五百士”……）.

Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic.（这段我不熟） They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. （他怎么想出来的？）One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. （invincible？原来阿咯琉斯之踵是因为他受不住了才造成的弱点）Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity"（Odessey，河马估计才会去写Oddity）, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his

journey.（？不熟） Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.（这逻辑混乱到无语，自己笑吧）

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. （精辟！最早的教学血案！）Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.（虽然他老婆厉害，但是这句怎么看都会让人误解……）

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits（discus，掷饼干的那是推销员）, and threw the java（是javelin才对！掷出爪哇岛？？！我看还是把你扔到爪哇去得了）. The reward to the victor was a coral（laurel，珊瑚的带上会舒服？） wreath. The government of Athen（Athens） was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.（这真是民主的本质啊……） There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. （按这逻辑，西藏该是最和平的地方了？）When they fought the Parisians（Persians,巴黎蛮子还是以后的事情）, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.（我越发怀疑这位还会不会说人话）

Eventually, the Ramons（Romans） conquered the Geeks.（Greeks，罗马人——征服小丑的英雄？） History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. （这句笑料在哪里？估计有双关语，求解）At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair.（头戴大蒜的罗马战士是啥形象？） Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.（消灭自己的恺撒……） The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyrany （tyrant）who would torture his poor subjects by playing the

fiddle to them.（那是尼禄么？那是发条橙！）