主题：【文摘】西班牙大猩猩与女王的天体秀--美国娃笔下的世界史 -- 李根
That's actually a crime in many countries. At least in China, unless you are Mr. XiaoBao Wei, who is entitled to have seven...
The question I cannot help asking is, why do your LDs need to have a meeting? To decide who is cooking supper today? Or something else? 
估计是在摇骰子决定今晚。。。。。。。
（画外音）：今年不流行掷骰子了，通吃才素王道。。。。
请高人给中文翻译一下！
请高人给翻译一下！
估计我只能解释不到一半,大家都来补充把他补齐.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks (tax?)
in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post
without stamps. During the war, Paul Revere was throwing snowballs over
stone walls. (革命领袖咋这形象？）The dogs were barking and the peacocks
crowing, (鸡飞狗跳，够热闹的）， finally, the colonists won the war (殖民者ccｈｅrｅｅ.com http://www.cchere.com/article/895704
赢了？这学生够反动的！） and no longer had to pay for taxis (taxes)! (一字
之差，革命的目的咋变得这么渺小呢？！）
Re:独立战争的原因远没有课本上吹嘘的那样高尚,不过是英国人想对从中国进口的茶叶加税美国人就造反了.这里把TAX错成TACKS,也就是大头钉,英国人一下就变成韦小宝撒大头钉在茶叶里,麻州人民还不反了?!先声夺人!
第二句和当时的印花税有关.大约当时的麻州人民不想交这个税.这伙计按字面理解说当时的美国人民想到邮局发包裹不要邮票,吃霸王餐.
Paul Revere是那个打响第一枪前晃灯笼报告英国人从路地上入侵的英雄,不知乍的这伙计变成了从石墙上丢雪球打仗了.估计有好些英语词在这里发音很近.
那老兄的事迹在这里 http://darter.ocps.net/classroom/revolution/revere.htm
唉呀,太累了,那位高手来接着解释.
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contended Congress (够满意
的）。 Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin (该生大概想写，a Virginian, 一字之差，
Jefferson成了处男，死不瞑目啊） ， and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of
the Declaration of Independence. (头一回听说两位还是歌手，，该生大概是想写
Signer, not singer). Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in
his pocket (Franklin大概是机器猫）and a loaf of bread under each arm. （$%*
*`!) He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, "A
horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is
still dead. (叉总算没再回来）
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the father of
our country. (米国出生啦，够形象的） Then the Constitution of the United
States was adopted to secure domestic hostility (Constitution说：我容易吗？
不是亲生的不说，还得协调一家大小的关系） Under the Constitution the people
enjoyed the right to keep bare arms (right to bear arms, 规定一下儿让不让拿
枪也罢了，连光胳膊这样的事都要Constitution操心啊！）
Abraham Lincoln became Americas greatest president. Lincolns mother died in
infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.
(超人啊！） When Lincoln was president, he wore only a tall silk hat. (天体
啊） He said, "In onion there is strength." (in Union). Lincoln wrote the
Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back
of an envelope. (大概是Matrix 里才能有的情节）。He also freed the slaves by
signing the Ejacuation Proclamation (Emancipation 这么难写吗？) But the
Clue Clux Clan (KKK该改名为CCC) would torcher (torture） the ex-Negroes and
other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor (order, 够臭
的）。 On the night of April 14, 1965 (?!), Lincoln went to the theater and
got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. (这段太
有想象力了，先是瞧电影，还能被电影里的银射中），The believed assinator was
John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booths career. (
Lincoln被杀有啥重要的，可怜的Booth的明星之路就这么结束了）
France was in a serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before
it happened. (深刻！） The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French
Revolution, and it catapulted into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars,
the crowned heads of Europe were rembling in their shoes. (瞧叉们这点儿出息
） Then the Spanish gorillas (guerrilla, ) came down from the hills and
nipped at Napoleons flanks. (这句太有感觉了， 大伙儿想象的出，西班牙大猩猩们
从山坡上冲下来，挠咬拿破仑下腰的奇景吗？！！） Napoleon became ill with
bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. (可能是在大猩猩那儿唠
的病根儿） He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a
baroness (baren) she couldnt bear children. (男爵夫人们小心了）
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British empire is in the
East and the sun sets in the west. (长学问啊） The government of England
was a limited mockery (有哲理）。 Henry VIII found walking difficult because
he had an abbess （abscess! ) on his knee. (谁要是有一尼姑在膝盖上也走不了
路）
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen, she was a success. (这女
人要是不嫁啊， 就是当了女王也是做人失败啊！切记！） When Elizabeth exposed
herself before her troops, (女王很前卫啊， 深知官兵们好哪口儿） they all
shouted, "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo
(Armada, 难道是个小号的？）. （看样子，天体盛很刺激军心嘛）
Queen Elizabeth was the longest queen, she sat on a thorn (throne) for 63
years. (女王针扎不进啊，太形象了） Her reclining years and finally the end
of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. (瞧人家这人品和觉悟！）
Her death was the final event which ended her reign
照片,不是那伙计是不是Paul Revere?我猜那是说那伙计还在报信途中.
的笑话有关,映像中似乎他老人家是小孩第一次出门,买东西单位的发音有误会,买了一大堆面包几乎拿不动啥的.
这里:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Revolution#Stamp_Act_1765
不过你要是把这些都读完,也就不可笑了.笑劲已经过去了.二本来文中第二句也是个大包袱.
笑话很难翻译,比如你说有个电视剧拍的是诸葛亮运轻功穿趟入室会小乔,老外就很难笑.
还请不辞劳苦，善始善终……
我等一路鲜花供奉……
"A horse divided against itself cannot stand."这句，来自新约耶稣驱鬼的故事，小孩子把原文的house拼成horse，倒也形象。
http://www.lucifer.com/~sasha/humor/Student_Bloopers.html
但是要读明白还是很难阿...而且之所以那么搞笑，注释的人功不可没。呼唤一个完全版注释。
never see a sunset in British!);太阳从东方升起,西方落下;那英国一定在东方.
"rights to hold and bear arms." ,这伙计错成BARE ARMS,发音完全一样,意思就成了光了的膀子.