主题：【文摘】西班牙大猩猩与女王的天体秀--美国娃笔下的世界史 -- 李根
帝国皇家海军的光荣传统就是从那里开始的.Armada是西文太难,这伙计给换成了英文的Spanish Armadillo(一种小动物)西班牙野兔啥的,搞成了帝国海军在德雷克大海盗的领导下看了女王的天体表演才奋勇击败了几只黄鼠狼啥的. Armadillo到底是啥,有人见过没有?
原注有点小错.第一段最后一句好笑的是把TAX写成 TAXIS,美国人就成了"别说几个破西瓜,老子在美国打的都不给钱"的西部好汉!
运气够好的,出洋相的时候被未来的老婆看见了.这人走起运来,上帝都拦不住.
老富一生从最穷的打工崽变成富翁,老了还走桃花运无数!美国梦的最早的原型应该就是老富的一生. 一直想抽空去看老富的传记而没看成,这次一定去看.
http://books.google.ca/books?id=040a5Xs-3ogC&dq=Franklin,+a+loaf+of+bread+&pg=RA3-PA17&ots=cnf0TpCoxS&sig=x-wyHXmnkQKEOAQfuq7ur5n6w9U&prev=http://www.google.ca/search%3Fhl%3Dzh-CN%26q%3DFranklin%252C%2Ba%2Bloaf%2Bof%2Bbread%2B%26btnG%3DGoogle%2B%25E6%2590%259C%25E7%25B4%25A2&sa=X&oi=print&ct=result&cd=2
孩子嫁来的.要有这个背景知识那段才好笑.那段把老华的家事和美国的国事混在一起,充分利用了domestic(家庭内部的;国内的)和FATHER(老华是后爸,自己没亲生孩子;他也是美国的国父,这个倒是亲生的)词的双关性,把那段句子搞的歧义百出,也很好笑.
老华的钱主要是那寡妇的陪嫁,这对老华也很重要.要是老华后来衣食无着的话,赖着不交权就有一定的可能性了.虽说这有点以小人之心度君子之腹,但从老华的历史也可看出,不能跟着光棍闹革命!
方案;收养孩子),这些在这里都是双关语.
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies.（头一句就牛到家了！原来底比斯是死人城……） They lived in the Sarah Dessert（Sahara Desert, 这个么，玩笑了） and traveled by Camelot（camel？原来宫殿也会从英国游泳到非洲的）. The climate of the Sarah issuch that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere（木乃伊也怕热的？？）, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation（突然想起了“愤怒的葡萄”，或许可以这么解释）. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain（这又牛到家了，金字塔不愧是木乃伊居民的杰作，他们个个会移山法）.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures.（世界上最早的漫画书？） In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses（Genesis没那么难写吧？）, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.（那以后还要吃苹果？同类相残啊……） One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" （这算什么辈分？这样算来该隐可就又多个“弑父”的罪名了）God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac（Isaac，还牛顿呢） on Mount Montezuma.（Mount Moriah,蒙特苏马山？？对美洲历史挺熟悉么） Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's birthmark.（birthright，权利可以偷，胎记也偷得的？） Jacob was a partiarch who brought up his twelve sons to be partiarchs, but they did not take to it.（participant？） One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites
Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw.（没稻草还是能做面包的，供应小麦和木柴就行了） Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.（是面包么？空气吧……） Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide（Mount Sinai，氰化物山！！上帝啊……） to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.（玩弄说谎者？） He fougth（fought） with the Philatelists,
（Philistines，和集邮家作战……希望今天以色列人别有这个传统了） a race of people who lived
in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines
（progenitures？养500豪猪干什么？驱使它们打仗？耶，以后也画个“所罗门五百士”……）.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric and Ironic.（这段我不熟） They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. （他怎么想出来的？）One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. （invincible？原来阿咯琉斯之踵是因为他受不住了才造成的弱点）Achilles appears in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity"（Odessey，河马估计才会去写Oddity）, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his
journey.（？不熟） Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.（这逻辑混乱到无语，自己笑吧）
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. （精辟！最早的教学血案！）Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.（虽然他老婆厉害，但是这句怎么看都会让人误解……）
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits（discus，掷饼干的那是推销员）, and threw the java（是javelin才对！掷出爪哇岛？？！我看还是把你扔到爪哇去得了）. The reward to the victor was a coral（laurel，珊瑚的带上会舒服？） wreath. The government of Athen（Athens） was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands.（这真是民主的本质啊……） There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. （按这逻辑，西藏该是最和平的地方了？）When they fought the Parisians（Persians,巴黎蛮子还是以后的事情）, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.（我越发怀疑这位还会不会说人话）
Eventually, the Ramons（Romans） conquered the Geeks.（Greeks，罗马人——征服小丑的英雄？） History call people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. （这句笑料在哪里？估计有双关语，求解）At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlic in their hair.（头戴大蒜的罗马战士是啥形象？） Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.（消灭自己的恺撒……） The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyrany （tyrant）who would torture his poor subjects by playing the
fiddle to them.（那是尼禄么？那是发条橙！）
“Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.”
已经彻底无语了……
http://mitbbs.com/article_t/Joke/13582470.html
发信人: ReDim (Trading is Evil), 信区: Joke
标 题: My Interourse Schedule
发信站: BBS 未名空间站 (Thu Nov 23 12:31:33 2006)
来美国的第一学期,导师让大家列一个选课单,并强调我们是博士班,要从严要求自己,除
了上课还需要把其它时间排得满满的,比如听讲座,看论文之类.这些项目也要列上.
于是我第二天交了一份<<课间安排表>>--My intercourse schedule
永远也忘不了老师当时看我的表情
老板挺逗,说
If intercourse is what you really meant, it should be listed as
extracurricular activities.
当然,当时我还是没反应过来.最后是问了办公室一美国女孩才知道的……
什么XXX同学在application上面写道（有关Aging Problems）:
"The intercourse between parents and their children in China is decreasing..."
什么三个外国男的在天安门问路，三个中国女孩指完了路，之后说：“We are willing to do some intercourse with you guys”，三个外国男的就蒙了。