主题：【原创+翻译】战争与痛苦（1） -- 夏至欧锦

As I walked in with my kids, Susan- the wife of my brother in law – grabbed my arm and said:

“ Walid cannot sleep. He is in so much pain, yet he is not fully awake. He mentioned Sameer, my dead older brother a lot in his hallucination because of the fever .”

Then she was silent for a few second trying to hold the tears in her eyes. Crying was no longer helping anyone to let out some of the steam that was boiling inside of us. We needed to be stronger and to help each other during this hell.

我抱着孩子们刚走进门，苏珊妯娌就拉住我的胳膊，说她兄弟的情况：“瓦利德一直睡不着。我看他疼得太厉害了，也不清醒。他一直发烧，说胡话，老在喊我哥哥萨默尔的名字。”

接着，她陷入沉默，努力忍着不让眼泪流出。现在，哭泣已经没任何作用，无法释放我们每个人心中沸腾的激流。我们必须让自己更坚强，才能在这地狱里互相扶助。

“ I am afraid he is not going to make it. He is boiling hot with fever and there is no way anyone could go out for some medicine tonight. Maybe tomorrow it will be calmer a bit and we can manage some antibiotics. Come with me. He is laying over here in the corner. We need you to give him a pain killer shot.”

“我担心他情况更不好了，他烧的发烫。今晚这样子，谁也没办法出门找点药。但愿明天能平静一点，我们才好出去，想法搞点抗生素回来。

跟我来。他躺在里面墙角那里。帮帮我们，你给他打一针镇痛剂吧。”

I stepped a few steps inside the dimly lit room. I could hear his fast breaths and his pained faint moaning. He was around 25 years old. A tall skinny guy. He used to be so lively, active and happy and used to have a great sense of humor.

往这光线阴暗的房间走了几步，我听得见他急促的呼吸，还有他痛苦的呻吟。瓦利德25岁，一个瘦高小伙儿。他曾经是个活泼、好动和快乐的青年，还是那么的幽默滑稽。

I prepared the painkiller shot and then knelt closer to him. There were not even an inch square of undamaged skin on his thigh where I needed to give him the shot. But I managed to give it to him and sat there silently thinking; what had we done? Why had all this happened? No one on earth deserved to be hurt this much!!

我准备好镇痛针剂，跪着靠近他。他臀部没一块好皮肤，全是伤痕，我难以找到一处可以给他注射。我还是想法给他打了针，我坐在那里观察了一会儿，思绪却转到别处，我们做了什么？这些事情为啥会发生？没人应承受这么多的伤害！

Susan’s voice woke me out of my other world that had a million unanswered questions about all what we were going through.

苏珊的说话声音让我返回现实，在我思维的世界里，潜藏着上百万没有答案的问题，都是关于我们在遭受的这一切。

“ Thank you so much, Rana. I appreciate it. Go get some rest now, try to get some sleeping. I hope the bombing has stopped for tonight. Maybe tomorrow we can get out of here and go to a safer place .”

I simply nodded and carried my kids again in my arms and went back to my room. Maybe she was right, maybe we would have the rest of the night in silence.

“万分感谢你，拉娜，我真的感谢你。去歇会儿吧，尽量睡一下。我猜今夜的爆炸要停下了。也许明天我们可以离开这里，去一个安全些的地方。”

我简单点下头，又一手抱一个孩子，回到我房间。这会儿听不到爆炸声音。也许她是对的，也许今夜我们可以在寂静里休息一下。

“ Mummy, where is daddy?” My daughter, Sally, asked.

“ He is out with your uncle, Fadi” I answered assuring her not to worry.

“ Will he be killed or hurt? “ she asked so calmly as if not really wanting to hear the answer to her own question.

I held her so tight and answered with confidence that I knew I did not have deep inside:

” No, baby. He will be just fine. You know Daddy is a big strong man. He can protect himself and he is out to protect us as well.”

She smiled and then closed her eyes, and soon fell in a sound sleep. I prayed to God that she would be dreaming of the old peaceful days when she was only upset if she lost her doll, or had a fight with brother, my dear baby boy, Majd.

“妈咪，爹哋在哪里？”女儿萨丽问道。

“爸爸和法迪叔叔在一起，在外面那屋。”我很确定地回答她，好让她安心。

“他会被打死或打伤吗？”她的提问的如此镇静，好像不需要回答这个问题。

我把她抱得更紧，回答的看上去很有信心，其实我自己心里也不知道：

“不，宝贝，爸爸一定会没事。你看爸爸多高大强壮，他能保护好自己，也能保护好我们。”

她笑了，然后闭上眼睛，不久就呼噜呼噜睡了。我做了个祈祷，祈求上帝赐给女儿一个好梦，梦到旧日和平的日子，在那些日子，她会为丢失洋娃娃发脾气，或者和弟弟打架，我心爱的儿子马吉德。

Soon after, I dozed off myself. I needed the rest. But only to wake up to the sound of men yelling and shouting outside. I froze, literally froze, blood seemed to stop running in my veins. Oh dear God, had something wrong happened to Salem, my husband?? I hoped and prayed he would be safe.

Quickly I got out of my bed, hid my kids behind me against the wall, and scanned my room wondering if the closet could fit the three of us as a hiding place. But I was late.

不久我也困倦了，我真得休息。却被外面男人们的大喊大叫声吵醒。我打了一个寒颤，一个清清楚楚的寒颤，惊得我血液都要停止流动了。哦我的主，别是萨勒姆我的丈夫出了什么事？我盼望着祈祷着，但愿他别出事。我赶快下床，把孩子们藏在身后，靠在墙根，一边四处看我的房间，想着衣橱是不是合适做个避难处，可以藏下我们娘仨。但我已经晚了。

Just a moment later, five armed men crashed into my room. All five of them had blinding flash lights in their hands. They scanned the room. And then blinded me and my kids when they spotted us in the corner. Three of them held rifles, the other two had machine guns. I was never this close to soldiers before. I held my breath and just stood there with my kids who were still half asleep and holding so tight to my leg.

不一会儿，五个拿枪的男人闯进我的房间。他们五个都手拿眩人眼目的手电筒。他们用手电筒仔细照过整个房间。然后把灯光聚集在我和孩子们脸上，灯光在墙角的我们脸上照来照去。他们中三个拿着步枪，两个拿着机枪。我从没距离士兵这么近。我屏住呼吸，勉强站得住，孩子们半睡半醒紧紧抱着我的腿。

“ Is there anybody else in this room but the three of you?” one of the soldiers yelled at me.

“ N..N..No No..there is not anyone else” I answered, shakingly.

“ Where is your husband?” He asked

“ He was with his brother, in the room that out looked the yard. Is he okay?” I managed to say breathlessly.

“ Do you have any weapons stashed in your room?” he asked ignoring my question.

My eyes were open wide now. I was terrified. Were they accusing us of helping the rebels and of having guns? Were they going to kill us? Arrest us?

“ No, No, we just want you to help us get out of here. We have done nothing wrong. Please help us” I answered pleadingly.

“除了你们三个，这间房里还有别的谁？”其中一个士兵对我吼着。

“嗯嗯没没，没有任何人！”我战战兢兢回答，浑身颤抖。

“你丈夫在哪儿？”他继续喊着。

“他和兄弟在一起，在院子那边屋子......他还好吗？”我竭力说得连续些。

“你有什么武器藏在房里吗？”他用提问回避了我的问题。

现在我的眼睛可以睁大了。我吓坏了。是不是他们怀疑我们帮助叛乱分子并藏有武器？他们会不会杀了我们？我们会不会被捕？

“不不，我们只希望你们帮帮我们，带我们离开这座房子。我们没做任何错事。求你们帮帮我们！”我谦卑地回答着。

The mocking grin of that soldier’s face was a sight that I would never ever forget. Then he said: “ You deserve what is happening to you. You had this coming when you thought you could change the order of this country.” Then he turned my room upside down, emptying the entire closet, opening every drawers, throwing the mattress of the bed away and looking inside the chest of my bed. They turned the room into a complete mess in a matter of a few minutes, and then they just left.

那个士兵的脸，那咧嘴嘲笑的嘴脸，我一辈子也忘不掉。然后他说：“这些事儿，你们是罪有应得。你们是不是觉得一打仗，国家秩序就可以被你们改变了？”

接着，他把我的房间翻了个底朝天，把橱柜里的东西都丢出来，把所有的抽屉都打开，掀掉床垫，探头看床底有没有东西。几分钟里，他们就把房间弄得彻底一团糟，然后走了。

• 【原创+翻译】战争与痛苦（1）