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主题：【原创+翻译】战争与痛苦（1） -- 夏至欧锦
家园 【原创+翻译】战争与痛苦（1） ----来自叙利亚大马士革
作者是一位英语老师，以下是她的照片。
在和她微博聊天时候，自然会谈到叙利亚人民在战火中的苦难。她愿意一个女性的视角出发，写出她的经历和感受。本文还不是作者的自传小说，之前，我没有充分和作者沟通，错误以为是作者亲身经历的，只不过不是改了真实生活中的名字。其实，这是作者唯一的姐姐的经历。作者有她自己的苦难，截止2014年10月，她的丈夫已经失踪16个月......战争岁月里的失踪。
原文用英文写出，这很难为她，但没办法，我不懂阿拉伯语。我的翻译，也是差强人意，大家凑合着看。欢迎大家提出建议和意见，我希望可以改好一点，在国内平面媒体发表，挣一点稿费，是她的劳动所得。要知道，在叙利亚，一个政府军士兵的月工资，才相当于100美元。也许在中国拿到的稿费，可以改善她的生活条件。
另外，我感觉她的文章，可以算一篇中篇或者长篇小说的起头部分了。大伙儿有什么好建议，请不吝赐教。文章名称，我想了一下，不知道取个什么名字好。就暂时用《战争与痛苦》，大家认为如何？
我先按一段原文一段译文呈现，如果效果不好，以后改成原文集中，译文集中方式。
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It was quiet again. I knew it would start all over in a few seconds. I could hear my heart beat loud and clear along with the muffled cries of my kids who I hold so tight to my chest. A thousand thoughts flashed through my head; the image of me and my kids being pulled from under the wreckage of my house was the most vivid image. I was fully dressed. I did not want to be pulled in my home gown. I was humiliated enough already since this mad unreasonable war started. My only wish was that neither me or my kids would be just hurt or maimed, I wanted us to die all at once. I could not stand the thought of living without any of my two kids, a 5 years old girl and a 3 years old boy, or the idea of seeing them hurt or suffering without me by their side if I was the one to be killed. I loved them so much. Tears were falling down my face silently. I had to show my kids the last bit of courage that I still had inside so that they would calm down a little.
又一次寂静了。我知道，几秒钟内爆炸的声音会再次响起。我紧紧把孩子们搂在胸前，听到我的心在“咚咚”地跳，伴随着闷不住的孩子哭叫声。千百种思绪瞬间闪过我的脑际，定格在脑子里的画面，是我和孩子从我家废墟下被人拽出来的场景。那一刻，我穿的严严实实，我不想被拽出来时候还穿着睡衣。
自从这场没有理由的疯狂战争开始，我已经受够了屈辱。我仅有的期盼，不是我或者我的孩子仅仅受到伤害，或者致残，我情愿我们全家一下子死掉！我无法想象，没有两个孩子我能活下去！我也无法想象，我被杀死，而留下5岁的女儿和3岁的儿子，没有我陪伴他们遭受伤害和痛苦！无法言说我对他们的爱。泪水静静地流过我的脸。在孩子们面前，我得表现出心中仅存的勇气，让他们安静一刻。
We had been trapped in our house for the last four days. Food had become so scarce, electricity was out of the question of course because the power cables were hit by a bomb and were laying on the ground outside for days now. Thank God we still had water. My husband with his two brothers were in another room, helplessly hoping that we were all going to make it through this night from hell. They could not go out or else they would be arrested, they could not take us to a safer location because it was so dangerous to leave the house. It was kind of literally raining gun shots and bombs. And I felt so sorry for them. Being a helpless man, not even capable of providing food and shelter for their families was too painful for me imagine. However, I had my share of pain and worry.
过去4天里，我们一直被困在家里。食物已经很少很少，电已经不再是问题，因为外面的电线被一个炸弹击中，掉落在地上好几天了。感谢上帝，我们还有水。我丈夫和他的两个兄弟在另一件屋里，他无助地期盼我们都能度过这个从地狱来的夜晚。他们不能外出，否则就有可能被捕，他们也无法把我们大家带到一个安全的地点，离开房子就意味着冒生命危险。毫不夸张地说，外面各种枪弹和炸弹多如雨点。我也为他们兄弟难过。我想像得出，作为一个无助的男人，不能给家人提供食物和庇护，该是多么痛苦。不管情况如何糟，至少还有我，和他们共同承担着痛苦和忧虑。
No No No No..it started again, my heart began beating a hundred times faster, and I held my kids so tight close to me I guess I was hurting them. The tanks firing sounds were deafening because our house was so close to the hot zone. The windows were shaking violently. Dust was falling down on us as the walls themselves were shaking as well. And I could hear clearly the sound of the damage the happened outside only a block away or less maybe. I was shaking. We were not going to make it. I was sure. I prayed for God that me my kids die all together with one hit without feeling any pain. I was screaming inside so loud “ GOD…PLEASE…SAVE US…END THIS..I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE”.
不！不！不！不！爆炸声又开始了。我的心剧烈地跳动，孩子们被我搂得太紧，后来我猜我都弄疼了他们。坦克开火声音一浪高过一浪，震耳欲聋，我家房子距离交火地点实在是太近了。窗子都在狠命地颤抖。灰土直往我们头上洒落，四面的墙也在颤抖。我清清楚楚地听到，门外很近的地方某种被毁坏的声音。我不停地颤抖。那一刻我甚至深信，这一次我们捱不过去了。我向上帝祈祷，让我和孩子们在一击之下立刻死去，不要感到一点点痛苦。我心里大声嘶叫着“主...求你...救救我们...结束这一切...我实在受不了了！”
It had been this crazy for two hours now. I have no idea what triggered this madness tonight. But I knew it lasted long enough to drain every drop of hope and power in my. I could not stand even if I wanted to.
这种狂乱的状态持续了两个小时。我搞不清是什么在疯狂的今夜引发了这一切。但是我知道交火持续了太长时间，耗尽了我每一滴希望和力量。到后来，就算我想，我都无力站起来。
I lowered my head sniffing the beautiful terrified aroma that came out of my kids and closed my eyes tight waiting for …I did not honestly want to know what I was waiting for!!
我低下头，嗅着孩子们头上散发出的舒心的香味，我紧紧闭着双眼等待着...我真不知道我在等待什么！
Then I heard a painful worried calling of my name in the deadly silence that fell upon us once again:
“ Rana, where are you?? Answer me for Goodness sake!!”
有一刻，当死一般的寂静降临在我们当中时，一个痛苦焦虑的声音在呼喊我：
“拉娜，你在哪里？看在上帝的份上回答我！”
I recognized the voice. She was the wife of my brother in law. She was looking for me in the darkness.
我认出这个声音，她是我小叔子的妻子（妯娌）。她在黑暗中寻找我。
Two days ago, her brother was helping some people who were hit by a bomb shell, when another one fell at the same location. He was brought here. His sister was the only relative he had left here. Their parents died and their only brother was shot dead in the head about a month ago. His body was maimed by about a hundred of tiny mortar ricochets. I could easily figure out why she was looking for me. She needed me to give him a painkiller injection, for I had a training at the medical center in our town a few years ago.
两天前，她的兄弟正在帮助一些被弹片击中的人，又一颗炸弹落在了同一个地方。他被人救起送到我家。现在，姐姐是他的唯一亲戚。他们的双亲死了。他们的哥哥，一个月前被枪打中头部，也死了，尸体也被毁了，迫击炮弹的上百颗飞舞的弹片，摧毁了死者最后的尊严。
我立即明白她找我做什么。她是要我给她兄弟注射镇痛剂。几年前，我在我们小城的医疗中心接受过培训。
It was calm again now. I could not feel my legs. I was numb all over. But I had to move. I pulled away my two kids just a little bit from me so that I could manage to carry both of them in my arms. They were quite heavy but there was no way I would stay three feet away from them.
一切都恢复了平静。可是我感觉不到我的腿的存在。我完全麻木了。可我必须起来。我把孩子们稍稍推开一点，好让我双臂一边抱一个。他们很重，可让我离开他们一米都不可能。
“ I am coming, just a moment.” I answered.
“我来了，稍微等一下”，我回答着。
I could tell my way in the darkness easily, my eyes got used to it by now.
我的眼睛适应了黑暗，已经可以在黑暗中往前走。
I crossed the hallway that separated my room, and went into the next room.
我穿过走廊，走进另外一个房间。
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链接
战争与痛苦（2）链接出处
战争与痛苦（3）链接出处
家园 作者在教350个学生！ 
我和作者穿插说着第四章。
家园 战争与痛苦（3） I heard the sound of their shoes treading the hallway fast. And soon the sound faded away.
我听得到他们的脚步声，急促地穿过走廊。这声音很快远去，直到消失。
Shocked, I froze in my place for a few seconds, we were still alive, that was good enough for me to think of right now. Sally and Majd were still hugging my legs so tight. I turned around and knelt on my knees trying to see their faces, which were yellow with fear but still the most beautiful thing I could ever lay my eyes on. I adore those tiny creatures more than my heart can bear. I hugged them tight and their breath calmed down along with the beating of my throbbing heart.
我惊吓的厉害，呆呆地站在那里有一会儿。我们还活着，在那一刻，这算是我能够考虑到的最好的事。萨丽和马吉德，还紧紧地抱着我的腿。我扭过身子，弯下膝盖，搞得很费力，看看他们的小脸。他们都吓得脸色蜡黄，就算是这样，他们还是我眼里最美丽的事物。我实在是太爱这两个小生命了，爱到超越了我的心所能承受。我又紧紧抱住他们，我的心狂跳，孩子们的呼吸却渐渐平静了。
Oh God I missed my mother. She passed away a few months ago for a heart attack. Only when I became a mother I realized how great her love was for me, my only sister Leila and my two brothers, Yasser and Bilal. She was not just a mother. She was a well-known Arabic teacher in our town for her great methods that she used in teaching. Her students absolutely adored her. She was the glue that held the family all together. Such a great loving, caring, devoted mother, teacher, neighbor and simply just great at everything! I always kept her so close in my heart and would always feel so blessed that I had her as my mother. But…I missed her. Sometimes I missed her too much that tears would run down my cheeks in silence whenever I recalled her warm comforting smile, her sweet jasmine perfume, her voice, her scolding of me when I did something wrong as a kid. I missed her. If only she could be there for me now, telling me that all would be just fine.
哦，上帝，那一刻我想到了妈妈。几个月以前，她因为心脏病远离我们而去。她对我们的爱，我做了母亲以后才有切身体会，那是多么的伟大。她把爱都给了我、我唯一的姐姐莱拉，还有两个兄弟亚塞尔和比拉尔。她不仅仅是一位母亲，她还是我们镇上出名的阿拉伯语老师，她有一套很出色的教学方法。她受到学生的深深爱戴。她把这个家凝聚在一起。她的爱好伟大，她把自己奉献给了我们，她那么有同情心，她是个好老师、好邻居，她做什么都比别人出色！妈妈总是放在我的心坎上，一直觉得好幸运，我有这样的妈妈。唉，我就是想她。有时候我想她想的太厉害，不管什么时候我一想到她温暖慈祥的笑容，眼泪就止不住地流。她的音容笑貌，香甜如茉莉花的芬芳。我孩提时代犯错时，她的责骂，好像还在耳边。我想念妈妈。但愿她这会儿就在我身旁，告诉我所有的一切都会好起来。
But wait …no ..No matter how odd that might sound. I was relieved that she passed away in peace. I would have been extremely disturbed and worried if I knew that my mother was going through the hell I was going through then. At least she died in peace, knowing that her kids were safe and sound and happy with their families.
话说回来，不管，不管听起来多么奇怪，我还是感到宽慰，妈妈毕竟是是在和平时期辞世的。如果让妈妈和我们一道经历这地狱般的生活，我不知道要多忧心多难受。至少，她死于和平生活，那时她的孩子们都平安，都和家人快乐幸福滴生活着。
At such times, times of war and brutal violence, it was okay to get hurt or even died if you could only assure that your loved ones are safe. And there she was, my mother, safe in heavens and smiling down at me, telling me in a way or another that all would be fine somehow.
着这样的时候，战争和野蛮尘嚣直上的时候，你仅仅确信自己最爱的人平安，就算自己受伤害或者死去都值了。她就在那里，我的妈妈，平平安安地在天堂里，微笑着俯瞰着我，用这种或者那种方式对我说，一切都会变好，以一种我还不了解的方式。
I picked up my kids, and trod out of my room as silently as I could. Then I called for Susan,
“ Susan, are you okay? Are you all okay”
“ yes, Rana, we are fine, what about your and the kids?” Susan’s answered me in whispers of fear and tiredness.
“ we are all okay. Have you seen Salem or your husband, Fadi, yet?” I asked worried.
“ no. I asked the soldiers about our husbands but they would not answer me. Good heavens, I hope nothing bad has happened to them” She answered.
我抱起孩子们，尽力保持无声，把脚探出门，试着小声呼喊苏珊，
“苏珊，你好吗？你们都好吗？”
“是的我们都好，你和孩子咋样？”苏珊由于惊吓和疲惫，回答的声音软软地。
“我们都好。看到萨勒姆和你丈夫法迪没？”我焦急地问。
“没。我问了那些士兵，他们不说。天哪，他们别出啥事吧。”她回答。
Her words only got me more worried. But I dared not to go outside. My kids were stuck to me like a second skin and I would not risk having them in danger.
“ God, please please please Save Salem and Fadi” I repeated over and over in my heart. And then sat on the floor and wept my heart out. I did not want to be left alone in this madness.
她的话只是让我更忧虑。可我又不敢踏出门。孩子们缠在我身上，像是长了第二层皮，厚厚的一层重压在身上，难以迈步。我也不想带着他们冒险。
我心里一遍一遍喊着，“上帝，求你求你求你救助塞勒姆和法迪。”我无力地坐到地上，腾出一只手抚摸心口。我不想一个人留在这狂乱的人世上。
Salem was a really good husband. He adored his kids and did all he could to afford us everything we wanted. We had our fights and disagreements, but at such times, all I had in mind was his good traits. I knew I could do the impossible to protect my kids, but in fact there was nothing I could do. It was too insane outside to do anything. Having Salem with me and my kids was a must!
萨勒姆是个好丈夫。他深爱孩子，我们想要的任何东西，他都竭力想法供应。我和他打过架吵过嘴，但在现在这种时候，我想到的都是他的好处。为了保护孩子，我想我可以做任何不可能的事情，实际上我啥也做不了。这种极端时候，女人出去做任何事都是非常愚蠢的。萨勒姆和我们在一起，那是必须的！
“ God, please please please Save Salem and Fadi” was the prayer I kept repeating with the tears and the pain.
我一边流泪一边心痛，一遍一遍祈祷，“上帝，求你求你求你救救萨勒姆和法迪！”
“ Rana, Susan…Are you okay? Are you all okay?” Fadi’s voice came from the yard outside, whispering loudly but firm and fine.
“拉娜，苏珊......你们好吗？你们都好吗？”法迪的声音，从院子外传来，声音压得低低的，听上去又坚定又完好。
Finally, a sigh of relief and a smile of unmatched happiness were all I could do.
最终，我能做的就是放松和微笑，那是无法察觉的幸福感觉。
“ Yes we are. We are all fine. Are you all okay out there?” Susan asked worriedly.
“是的我们还好。我们都好。你们都好吗？”
“ yes we are, do not worry. The soldiers are all gone now. We will be inside in a few minutes. We are just checking on a few neighbors. We have heard that we could leave to the capital early in the morning tomorrow. Pray for us.” Fadi’s cheering voice answered.
“我们都好，别担心。士兵都走了。过一小会儿，我们就进屋。我们和几个邻居查看查看周围。听说，明天早晨我们就可以离开这里，去大马士革。为我们祈祷吧。”法迪开心的地说着。
通宝推：渔儿漂漂,桥上,
本帖一共被 1 帖 引用 (帖内工具实现)家园 Writer's reply in Oct.30th 
Some pictures of Damascus evening, taken by writer in the same day.
There's a battle in Jobar district of Damascus,please reffer CNTV channel CCTV13 news,in October 30th,11am.
通宝推：桥上,家园 宝推叙利亚网评员，看这还不如去起点呢 我和一个去过阿勒颇的十九岁加拿大小伙聊过很多。
细节可以验证他的经历，这个姐姐，就是出来占领舆论阵地的。
就当看起点小说吧。
家园 我反复要求 她才写的，也是为了找一个事情，多赚一点，可以贴补家用。她丈夫失踪快两年了。
你说话，阴谋论意味怎么那么重啊。
- 复 我反复要求
家园 叙利亚的战场，更像阳光灿烂的日子 当然，半大小子嘴里的世界可能和主妇不一样，何况又是手里拿着大把外币的。浪漫主义情怀，激情燃烧的岁月。。。。
不过真不是那种你死我活的残酷。
少年不识愁滋味。。。。
家园 那叫前方吃紧，后方紧吃 至少你那个小朋友是否上过战场值得怀疑。便何况他在接壤土耳其边境的地方，有事可以一溜烟。人家在大马士革，作为泥派，又逃不出来，分分钟是被收拾的对象，而丈夫也失踪多时，她能做的已经不多，能赚点稿费，免落风尘怕是最大的幸运了。
家园 切 你对着的人，是只道天凉好个秋的
